'She said what?!' Alan Titchmarsh recalls rude joke Queen made at his investiture

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Alan Titchmarsh has retold the story of the late Queen Elizabeth joking about “giving a lot of ladies a lot of pleasure” during his investiture for his MBE at the turn of the millennium. Speaking to the BBC on Monday as the Queen was driven in the state hearse to St George’s Chapel in Windsor, where she will be laid to rest alongside her parents, sister and husband Prince Phillip, Mr Titchmarsh recounted how he had told his wife he would like the late monarch’s quote put on his headstone when he died. 

Mr Titchmarsh said: “When I came to my investiture in June, I wondered if she would say anything and I went up and she said, ‘Are you busy?’ 

“I was a bit disappointed because it was a bit general but she does see a lot of people. 

So, I told her what I was doing, television and writing, and at the end her hand came out and she shook my hand and she said, ‘Well, you give a lot of ladies a lot of pleasure.’

“Well, I did not really realise until somebody came up to me and asked what she said and then, when I repeated what she had said, they said, ‘What?’ 

“I was going back in the car with my wife and I said to her, ‘You know, I can’t make up my mind whether to be cremated or buried. 

“‘Because I would like a headstone that says Alan Titchmarsh 1949 to whenever. ‘He gave a lot of ladies a lot of pleasure.’ ELizabeth R’. Forgive me Ma’am.” 

Mr Titchmarsh was a longtime friend of the Queen, both sharing a love of horticulture. 

On Monday, he wrote in The Daily Telegraph about his many meetings with her and her knowledge of plants. 

READ MORE: ‘We must NEVER lose pomp and pageantry’ [OPINION] 



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